Halfway mark!

I have officially reached the halfway point in my pregnancy.  I'm 21 weeks today, and while it's exciting to realize he could be here in as little as 14 or 15 weeks (assuming I make it to 36 weeks or more), it is BEYOND terrifying.  I think it really hit me this past few days that I will be in charge of a life other than my own, and not only in charge of it, but this little life is dependent on me for food, shelter, infinite amounts of love, to make sure nothing and no one ever hurts him.  The pressure is immense, and scary.  I already love him so much and want nothing but the most amazing, beautiful things for him... that the thought of failing him is the scariest thing I've ever faced in my life.

Before, all I thought of were the silly things... what sort of stroller should I buy, will he like the stripes in his nursery?, I wonder if he'll have blue eyes like Justin... and now, all I can think of are fears that I won't measure up.  I hope I can be everything he needs me to be whenever he needs me to be it.  I don't know if Justin feels this same type of pressure or fear, but over the past few days, it has been eating away at me.  I suppose we won't know until he's here, and we're both in the game together, trying to figure out each play.  All we can do is be our very best.

On a lighter note... here's are some updated pictures.  20 weeks on top, 21 weeks on bottom.

I'm finally starting to look a bit more pregnant, although when I look in the mirror, I just see an extra layer of chubbiness that I wish would go away! I feel him moving all the time and Thursday night, April 18, Justin felt him kick for the very first time!  Granted, I was making him press hardly on my stomach but, he felt him!  It was a really sweet moment to see Justin so excited, and I think it made it a little more "real" to him.  I wonder how out of the loop dads really feel.  Women get 9 (10) months to prepare their bodies and get to know their little one, and dads just have a baby plopped in their hands.  I imagine it's strange for them!  

Anywho, no other updates here.  Kitchen and bathroom remodel will be taking place in June and I will certainly be updating with pictures then.  Baby shower planning is underway and I can't wait to see how it all turns out.  My mom is doing a wonderful job!