...too soon

Yesterday was what should have been my dad's 59th birthday.  I keep waiting to find peace with his death, but it has yet to come.  Each year, it gets just a little easier knowing that he is at peace and his internal demons are no longer making him suffer... but this year, this year in particular, is just a little harder for me.  The whole getting married and having your dad walk you down the aisle dream... pretty much shattered.  Although, I should have expected that given our past history... if he were alive today, I wonder if anything would have been different. 

All curiosities aside, I miss my dad. I miss the "shoulda, coulda, woulda" dreams I once had about him, and I miss my longing to know him.  That pang I feel when I realize I don't think about those dreams anymore... that's what kills me.  My dream about my dad is dead, right along with him.

To my dad, I wish you all the happiness and peace you never received here on earth.
"I loved you yesterday, I love you still, I always have...I always will."

Happy Birthday, Justin!

Today was Justin's 29th birthday and we celebrated by going to his favorite restaurant in Arizona - Lucille's BBQ.  I also happened to work at Lucille's years ago so it's always fun to go back and see the changes and some of the people.  He had a good turnout and lots of friends showed up to help him celebrate including three of his groomsmen, my mom and John, Brittney and Kherington, Caryn, Amy and Logan.

 Baby K showed up to support her Uncle Justin on his 29th birthday! I had to take a pic with her of course...

 Justin with Josh, one of his best buddies in Phoenix!

 Kherington and Logan, the cutest flower girl and ring bearer EVER!

 Me with the birthday boy :)

The two kiddos looking out over the picket fence at the restaurant... so adorable!
I can't believe the next time we celebrate Justin's birthday, it will be as a married couple! So crazy to think that! <3

xoxo,
Jenna

birthday, diets and catastrophes, oh my!

Let's start this blog post off on a good note!

My niece, Emilee, celebrated her golden birthday on March 20 (she turned 20).  We went to Pasta Brioni in Old Town Scottsdale with her best friend, boyfriend, my mom and John and Justin and I.  We brought along $30.00 worth of decadent little desserts from AJ's for everyone to share. Since Emilee is pregnant this year, there wasn't any crazy partying but Pasta Brioni is seriously amazing if you ever get a chance to visit! Authentic Italian food with an all male wait staff... great scenery :)

 (Emilee and I trying to take pictures at a flattering angle but no luck!)

(Emilee and her friend Cecily!)

On a different note, I started a diet a few weeks ago and have been steadily getting back into my workout routine.  I've lost 5 pounds! I am simply counting calories, cutting back on sugar and carbs, exercising when I can and as much as I can and hoping for the best.  It came true when I saw the scale at the gym today! I was really happy and it gave me the strength to push on through my 60 minute spinning class!

In order to keep healthy and stay under my calorie intake for the day, I tried to come home and make mini cauliflower pizza bites (I found the recipe on DashingDish.com, an amazing health food website with alternatives to everything you love that is unhealthy for you!) and couldn't wait to try it.  Instead, I think my ghetto, old school blender had a different idea (see for yourself).

The blender exploded with the cauliflower in it, a knife fell off the counter onto the tile and the handle broke, cauliflower proceeded to fly through the kitchen at top speed and in the end, I ended up with no cauliflower pizza bites but instead a huge mess with nothing to show for it.  I guess since we're getting married soon, a food processor will be on the gift registry? Anyone want to buy it for me? Anyone?

when it rains, it pours (and hails and thunders!)

This past weekend was busy from the start to the finish! From St. Patty's Day to bridesmaid dress shopping, there was something planned for every single moment.

Thursday night, I made pizza. Yes. Me. I made the pizza. And it was a-mazing. The most incredible, delicious crust ever.  Garlic parmesan thick crust with dried basil and pepperoni!  So ridiculously unhealthy but I don't care.  We devoured it!

Friday night, we spent the evening at Meghan and Christopher's house and got some yummy takeout food and played this fun game called Logos!  I got to fuss all over their new baby, Chase, and spend time with Meg, so that evening was a non-stressful success.  I can't wait to see the cute little guy again!

Saturday night, we decided to keep it low key and invited Brittney and Kherington over to the house for some St. Patty's Day fun! Britt and I made some crazy lime drink called "Your Best Friend's Irish Undies" and it was... extremely sour, to say the least.  Either way, we made potato salad and grilled out.  We played with the sidewalk chalk and Kherington ate a popsicle that turned her entire mouth dark blue.

 (I don't know what this hand thing was, but she put her hand by her face every time she took a picture! Goofball!)

Sunday, we went bridesmaid dress shopping.  I have been looking forward to shopping with my girls for months now and of course, the one day we decide to go, Arizona gets another wicked hailstorm.  The rain pounded the whole North valley for hours and the hail was relentless.  When we finally got in the car, it looked like it had snowed!  Regardless of the crappy weather, the girls DID decide on a dress and it's perfect! I absolutely love the choice they made and I'm happy it's all over.  It makes me feel like we're just one step closer to the wedding!

I'm looking forward to the weather clearing up this week and having 80's and 90's for the temperature.  We are also getting our pool replastered this week so let's cross our fingers that goes well.

Extreme Home Makeover

Yes, I can finally say that after a year and a half, I halfway like our living room! I wish I had taken before pictures... but no luck.  You know what they say - hindsight is always 20/20.  Anyway, to paint you a quick visual: our living room walls started off with this vomit-inducing peachy pink that continue all the way up to the ceiling and even the trim pieces.  The fan that hung from our 18 foot vaulted ceilings was bright gold, circa 1980, and it was hideous. The previous owners had a terrible design sense... hopefully mine is a tad better.

After repainting the walls, putting up new pictures, buying a big area rug and moving our couches downstairs, installing a custom mini bar underneath our stairwell and mounting a flat screen tv over the fireplace, it looks like a totally new house!  We are pretty happy with the end result.  See for yourself!  We still have to repaint the trim and you'll see a little bit of green tape by the bar because we're painting under the stairwell but other than that, it's pretty much done!

 You can see Fergi's creepy, glowing eyes on the rug!

 Justin's favorite part of the house! The kegerator and little bar area with wine opener, martini shaker, etc.

Frames on main hallway wall!

 View from the barstool area in kitchen.

View from the dining room... it's looking pretty good!

Thoughts? Anyone? Any suggestions??

This is the first time I've really felt...Wicked

Justin and I went to see the Broadway production of "Wicked" last night at Gammage Auditorium in Tempe, AZ.  Gammage is a really unique building designed by Frank Lloyd Wright, and I loved seeing the big peachy pink monstrosity every day when I attended ASU.  It was such a nice night and walking through campus with Justin really made me miss being a college student! (I don't count my Master's program... it's not nearly as exciting!) ASU was just a great place to be a student - so many things to do and see.  College life was everything I wanted it to be and more... it's hard getting older!

Back to Wicked... oh my gosh, AMAZING! The talent packed on that single stage was simply incredible. After Justin and I got to see the Lion King in Las Vegas, we decided we should try and see more shows.  This was the first one that came to AZ and I am so happy we decided to go.  The story line was absolutely adorable and funny. 

Our Playbill!

Justin and I trying to take a picture of ourselves inside the dark auditorium.  The flash on my phone was about as bright as it could possibly be, so pardon the squinty eyes!

The view from our seat in the upper level of Gammage.  The big thing on top is a giant bat with glowing red eyes! Such an elaborate stage... wish I would have been able to take pictures during the show!

there's another man in my life.

I spend every weekend with him, but usually only in the early mornings.  We go on walks together, share pieces of fruit, trot around in the Arizona desert, and play around. His name is Louie, and I absolutely love him.

This is the sweet boy I get to borrow every weekend thanks to a wonderful lady by the name of Carmella! Because of her, my childhood fantasy of frolicking around on horses every weekend is coming true.  (I'm also learning proper horsemanship and etiquette, so major bonus!) Justin promises me that one day, we will have land big enough for horses and I hope he realizes I'm holding him to it! Even if it means moving to Indiana or Illinois and leaving this dusty, hot state behind.

Here's a picture of fuzzy Louie, just now starting to shed his winter coat, being coaxed to Carmella with an apple.  He's such a love bug! I can't wait to see him again next weekend :)

the things a three year old says...

On Saturday night, Justin and I invited my best friend, Brittney, and her three year old daughter, Kherington over for dinner!  Dinner turned into a play-doh making, sidewalk-chalk drawing, sleepover! I love every second I get to spend with this little girl.  She's such a sweetie pie and I'm lucky she calls me her "Aunt Nenna".  Justin secretly loves being called "Uncle Justin" too, but he won't admit it as freely as I do.  Enjoy some pictures from the weekend below!

 Kherington, making a crazy smile with her Easter sidewalk chalk!

 Oops! "Nenna, I made a funny face for you!"

 Baby K goofing around on the couch while she taught me a counting song...

 "This picture is my mommy." Yikes! I'm going to give her a few more years for the motor skills to kick in :)

Our play-doh masterpieces! Every animal has a stripe or a spot, but that's ok. 

Take me out to the ball game!

This past Saturday, a group of us went to our first spring training game of the season!  Arizona has the most beautiful weather this time of year, so most states chose AZ as their grounds for spring training.  There are venues all over the valley, but we got to attend a game at the newest venue, Salt River Fields in Scottsdale.  The sun was shining, not a single cloud in the sky and about 80 degrees.  You can't even try and beat that kind of weather! And with a group of friends?  Absolute perfection!

Our view from our $10.00 lawn seats! Amazing! And look at that grass!!

I <3 this guy!!!

  We didn't get a group shot, so here is Justin with our friend Chris!